Diaries
Diary 5: Emergency Protection Order Abuse
False Domestic Violence Claims
The emotional, behavioural and developmental effects on children who are prevented or discouraged from seeing a parent over long periods post-separation is significant as evidenced by psychologists who specialize in divorce cases.
The legal system is simply unable to handle many false Emergency Protection Orders (EPOs) that can and are used by a parent in order to control the ex-spouse in order to punish them. Family lawyers are advising their female clients to get an EPO regardless of abuse and in the absence of any concerning issues in the process of the dissolution of the marriage.
One recent case is reflective of this – A man who has never had any history of violence, never been violent or aggressive with his wife or children was forced from his home after his wife accused him of physical abuse and threatening behaviour. She opportunistically filed for an EPO in court with false affidavits perjuring herself under oath – manipulating the system with complete disregard for the law in order to prevent her ex-husband from caring for the children while she travelled out of town the very next day for purposes of continuing with an affair that was the reason for the marital breakdown. Within hours of the filing, the police forceably removed him and much of his belongings from his home. He was told he could not come back to his own home or contact his children for an indefinite amount of time. The EPO was the quickest way to get her husband out of the home and the ex-wife was able to keep the matrimonial home until the EPO hearing (delayed due to an overwhelmed family court system in Alberta).
Subsequently, the father did not see his children for close to three weeks. On the morning of the EPO hearing, rather than face charges of perjury the wife dropped the EPO minutes before the courtroom opened, but the damage was done and with absolutely no accountability or consequence. In the passing weeks, the father was not allowed to coach his son’s hockey team or go to the school the children attended. An avid volunteer and member of the parent council, the consequences were devastating and humiliating. But beyond these intended consequences, his type 1 diabetic daughter suffered acute hyperglycemia for a period of over three days during the time her mother left her with incapable grandparents and neighbours while she travelled to meet her boyfriend with a suitcase full of lingerie and a lovely plastic “lei” her bestie friend had bestowed her.
Unfortunately, long term effects can be seen on the children’s emotional health and both children have suffered. One child, the daughter, attempted suicide and was diagnosed with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder, depression and social anxiety disorder). For the past 3 years his young teenager has been on a high dose of antidepressants while she struggles under the constant reign of parental alienation by her mother in the environment of a broken family. She no longer visits or stays with her father…. just the odd cup of coffee or ride home from school or to/from activities when needed. The son, has had emotional trauma and is currently suffering with depression, anxiety and chronic headaches as well. He continues to struggle to reconcile the destructive and alienating behaviour of his mother, grandparents, and other family members on his mother’s side as well as the lack of accountability towards a reasonable solution. And the question arises as to where the accountability is for the longterm impacts to children’s mental health in these circumstances? Even with the involvement of such agencies as Wood’s Homes, parental alienation and manipulation of family/divorce law is blatant and flagrant with no regard for the severe impacts on the emotional and physical health of the children of divorce.
Learnings
An ex-partner can falsely accuse you of domestic violence with absolutely no accountability. You can be removed from your home and alienated from your children for months before the judge can hear your side of the story. A well-intentioned section of family law in Alberta has been exploited to the point of outright abuse with absolutely no checks and balances. Even when your matter is heard you can’t get back the time lost and weeks of waiting to see your children. Your ex-partner can, and will, alienate you from your children by using tactics like this with no regard to the medium and long-term emotional damage caused.
